Story – Part 6

May 13, 2007

The third week they began giving me the last of the three chemo drugs and the one they were most concerned about. Apparently this was strong stuff at normal levels – but I was getting double doses – more than they had ever pushed through someone’s heart before.

The really amazing thing, the thing that really makes this a God-story, is that I never stayed a night in the hospital through this entire process. Others with the same type of cancer who were diagnosed at lower stages were laid-up in the hospital. The doctors said the chemo would make me very sick and extremely weak, after all, it was poison they were using to kill the cancer. Yes, I lost my hair, but the prognosis the doctors gave, never came true.

My body didn’t get weak or sick. I started eating like a horse and following a healthier diet that an Amish man had given me. We had heard that he had Godly wisdom about sickness and disease so we wrote him about my condition asking for his help. He replied a short time later with a list of what-to and what-not-to eat specific to this type of disease.

Some days, after getting out of 7 or 8 hours of chemo, I even had time to do some freelance work. I couldn’t be around large groups of people, because of my low white blood cell count, but through it all I was able to move around, get out and drive on my own. Just weeks before the doctors had shaken their heads and said I was almost dead.

Even though I wasn’t laid up in a hospital bed in a room by myself, this was one of the loneliest times in my life.

All of my friends and family were there in the beginning, surrounding me with their support. My mom would have been there the entire time, supporting me all the way, but every time I turned around she was just starring at me, which weirded me out a little (love you mom 🙂 ). A few of my friends even came with me to sit through part of a session of chemo when I started. One friend ran a marathon on my behalf and collected pledges to donate to a cancer research organization. I was honored, grateful and encouraged.

As the weeks and months went on, the crowds dwindled, and got back to the busyness of life.

So there I was, in Fall again, the time when my story seemed to be shaken up. I would like to say that I had great revelations of my purposes in life, that everything came into focus. Yes, God had given me unbelievable peace and I knew I was in his hand, but the big realizations didn’t come until afterward.

Maybe the time by myself was what I needed, to think and pray – to be ready for what lay ahead. A chance to slow down and rest.

While I feel now that I should have seen it then, I didn’t. In the midst of it, before the clouds cleared, and the new dawn came into view, I felt very, very alone…

< Part 5 | Part 7 >



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